How To Spend Quality Time With Your Partner When You Have Small Kids

As a couple it is important to spend time together. Quality time spent together is what fosters feelings of love can and without it the relationship will inevitably begin to fade. With the demands that small children put onto relationships it becomes increasingly hard for a couple to make time to spend together.

You can find time for your partner when you have small kids despite how busy you may be. Don’t get caught up in your day-to-day activities and forget about loving your partner. Read on for ways to spend quality time with the one that you love.

Go To The Gym Together 

 It is usually hard to find time for people to go to the gym. That’s why it’s a great couples activity. You get to cross something off of your to do list as well as spend time with your partner. Take laps around the pool together, go for a walk on the indoor track, or even spot each other while you lift weights.

 The most important thing is that you are getting fit together and holding each other accountable. The great thing about gyms is that they usually have childcare for the little ones in your life so you don’t have to worry about watching your kids and can focus on your work out together.

Couples Game Night 

 It’s probably very likely that you want to spend time with your friends as well as your partner. Invite your favorite couple over to have a day of BBQing and games outside in your backyard. Having kids near a BBQ can be dangerous so ensure you gas grill safety!

 Spend the day BBQing and eating with your family, kids included, but once it's nighttime put the kids to bed and have a game night with your friends. You can play some adult friendly games like cards against humanity or a regular fun game like taboo. Don’t forget the wine for some extra fun.

Family Friendly Vacation 

Going on vacation strictly as a couple may not be realistic for every family; maybe they have no one to watch the kids for the extended stay so they opt to bring the kids instead. If you can’t find a sitter or simply don’t trust anyone to watch your children make sure you do your research before booking anything. You want to find resorts or cruises that offer childcare or kids fun place that way you can get some alone time in and don’t have to compromise time with your children.

Communicate When Apart 

Quality time isn’t just about the time you physically spend with each other and its okay of you can’t be with your partner for a lot of the day. When you are apart is just as important as if you were together. Call your spouse on your lunch break and keep it light hearted, don’t just call to complain about your boss, make it about your partner. You could discuss the specifics of a trip you want to take or a new restaurant you saw that opened up around the corner.

 If you can’t call send a text message or email letting your partner know you are thinking of them. This will go a long way and make your partner's day because everyone wants to feel like others are thinking about him or her.

 Take the time to spend with your partner they will in turn feel supported and secure in the fact that you love them because you are constantly proving it to them. Of course there are other things that can wrong in a relationship but be sure not to forget to do the things and spend the time just as you did when you first became a couple or before the kids came along.

Creator of this post:

 Brittnay is an Australian who lived in London for the past two years. She managed to squeeze in 21 trips to Europe & Africa in that time . She passionate about travel, health and nutrition, you will find her healthy and delicious recipes on The Nut Butter Hub.

6 Tips to Rise Up When You're Down

 I have been wrestling depression, off and on, my entire life. I believe that everyone has dealt with it at some point. Lately, it has been super rough on me, especially this month. As you may know, I am a stay at home mom of 3 girls. My husband works very long, very odd hours. Our schedules rarely meet up. I keep putting the thought that being a stay at home mom and a single mom are not really any different.

This is where the depression hits hard. I love my husband to death and I definitely wouldn't trade my life with him. I have been that single mom for the first 3 years of my oldest daughters life. My husband and I started dating around her first birthday. We were not stable for the first 3 years of her life, but she had insisted that he was daddy from the moment they met. To me, we were "love at first sight," it just took him longer to come around. lol. He later admitted that he felt it, too, he just wasn't sure he was ready.

Anyway, back from that tangent. I am home 24-7 with the kids. I clean the house with the kids. I do my workouts on 1/3 of my mat with the kids. I go to the store. Yep, you guessed it, WITH THE KIDS.

Now, since we just moved about 4 months ago, I haven't had a chance to go out and meet anyone or do the things I love. So, this led to a fall into a depression on top of that exhausted depression that I mentioned earlier. I didn't see any of this happening until about a week ago. I was sitting there scrolling through Twitter and realized how bored I was and didn't know what I could do about it. I just wanted to breathe from all the Stewie's in the house. You know the infamous "Mom, Mom, Mommy." I can't randomly get up and leave now, can I?

Honestly, my days are on repeat right now. I am constantly on autopilot. It literally never changes. Have you ever felt that way? I am stuck in a rut. Nothing new ever, I mean EVER happens. I literally sat down and cried today because its the same cycle. Thoughts and all.

I sat down and thought of all the ways I have pulled myself out.

Here are some tips to get up when you are feeling down:

1. Turn on your favorite podcast.

I literally can not sit down and talk for long. Or listen to someone talk for that matter. I literally went on autopilot while listened to one of my favorite podcasts. I like story-tellers by the way. One of them is called "Lore." I have been listening to it way before Amazon adapted the series. Anyway, I had 15 minutes before I had to go pick up my daughter from school. As I walked out the door, I realized I had just cleaned my entire living room at that time. I had no clue I was doing that much work.  

2. Turn on your favorite song/playlist.

I use YouTube for this. Do NOT turn on your favorite cry music here. We all have that playlist. I try not to ever use it. When I don't want to fold laundry, some Panic at the Disco, Halestorm, Seether, Fall Out Boy, or Paramore all come in handy. I like headbanging, jumping, mosh-pit, dancing music. It gets me pumped and ready to work. I literally fold like 4 or 5 loads in one sitting. Don't roll your eyes. I know I am not the only one who hates laundry. That's impossible. Seriously, though, try some hard music next time. I stand by the couch, folding, and my kids just look and laugh. I find it quite hilarious, too, because I know I look down-right ridiculous. But I'm a mom, I have an excuse lol.

3. Start a new workout.

I say new because if you are like me and feel like you are on repeat, this can help change it up. Add a few new pieces to your work out. Mix it up every once in a while. I like doing the same thing over and over, but at some point, you have to add more weights or do a new move because the same ones aren't hitting those muscles anymore. Your body needs the challenge to tone up. As your muscles get stronger, you add more weight right. Try something new here. 

4. Use your phone or the Internet.

Use your lifeline and CALL A FRIEND. Set up a time to go hang out at the park or schedule a wine and canvas. Set something up that gets you out of the house. If they have kids take them to the park with you. Their kids can keep your kids busy and out of your hair. Trust me, your friend is probably thinking the same thing. 

If you are like me and just moved, go on Facebook and search for mom groups in your area. I totally just did that 2 days ago and I found one. I was even referred to a "mom meet up." It is literally for meeting new friends who are also moms. Only moms will be there, NO KIDS! There are also a few moms who joined a local toddler PTA group. This consists of weekly playgroups with your children's age groups. I loved this idea. $12 a year to have meetings once a month with guest speakers to learn new ways to teach my kids at home, to let my kids play with other kids. They get to make friends and learn without the expensive cost of daycare that I don't need. All the while, mommy gets to make new friends, too.

5. Bake.

Bake a cake. Bake some cookies. I cannot be the only mom who likes to cook. I am a mom that a cake is good no matter what time it is. It's someone's birthday somewhere. Celebrate! This can be a change in your day, though. For real! I bake a cake like once every 3 months. Plus, you cannot stay sad while licking the batter off of the spatula! You definitely can't be sad shaking sprinkles, either. Bake a cake, just because. You do not need to be validated, lol!

6. Take a walk.

I liked our duck pond, back in my hometown. In college, when I felt lonely, this is where you would find me. I took a book, walked around the pond, sat under a tree and read. Sometimes, I studied. We live in a nice neighborhood now. I feel like I can walk, no matter what time it is. Walks are peaceful. They are a time for yourself. They are quiet. Read a book, get lost in another land, (secretly) fall in love with the hero. Or, drown in your thoughts. This is the time that I find my answers or peace. When I start getting angry and crying, I run. I have so much anger that it works as a great release. When I was younger, I got in trouble (for what? I don't remember). My mom sent me to my room, my dad was in his workshop. I ran out the door. I probably ran 30 laps around the house. It worked though. Whatever you are looking for, it is probably there.

I hope this helps someone. I have been in dark places before and these are how I find my way out. If they don't, there is something for you! I promise! I hated counseling and felt it never worked. I can't remember to take the pills. I had to find another outlet. I am also an insomniac. Depression and insomnia are like peanut butter and jelly. They go hand in hand. They make things harder for you. 

Comment below and tell me what tips you have to get up when you are down. I want to know what works for you. Who knows it might help someone else, too. 

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How To Get ME Time As A Stay At Home Mom

If you are like me and spend a lot of time with your irresistibly adorable babies, you know it can be hard to find some time for yourself. We crave it, but it seems impossible to grab just a few minutes.

We need this time to gather our thoughts and energy. So, I have scoured the internet and thought of my previous talks with my husband to give you this list of a few tips to get some peace.

1. Do NOT be afraid to ask for help. We are only human and we can't do it all alone. Moms do get the title of SUPERHUMAN because we have so many talents, but we know that is far from true at the end of the day. Occasionally, we do need some extra help.
2. Recruit some friends and family. Sometimes I feel guilty asking for extra help from my family, but they have been there, too. More than likely, you have people who are understanding and see that you look fried from an electric shock. They are probably willing to help. I have to remind myself that a couple of hours is not like I am ditching them for the night.
3. Recruit other stay at home moms. Trade a few days with each other to watch kids. You know they need a break too. Join forces and release each other from responsibility for a couple of hours.
4. Hire childcare. Check out some local babysitters. Have a date night, or if you are like me, go paint at a Wine and Canvas event. Have a girls night with some friends. 
5. Pass the kids off to hubby.  Explain that you need a break like everyone else. My talk was along the lines of him getting time with grown ups, to work and think quietly, and to be a nerd (lol). He understands and sees that I need some time too. I take a bath with some lavender epsom salt to relax and gather my thoughts. I like to read a book and let my mind escape to a far off land sometimes.
6. Trade with your spouse. Chances are he goes out and does his thing once a week. Whether if it's with friends or golf. Trade time with him. If he goes out for 3 or 4 hours to do these things, tell him you will get the same amount on another day to do something you want. 
7. Wake up before the kids. Quietly drink that cup of coffee that usually gets cold after five minutes of being poured. You can enjoy some peace before the kids get up to get ready for school. We all know that's a hectic routine. 
8. Get the kids to lay down. My girls fight nap time. So, I quit calling it nap time. I tell them to lay down for quiet time with a book and tell them not to get up until I come to get them. Then, I can have a couple of hours to myself. Sometimes, they fall asleep. Sometimes, they talk to themselves. As long as they are laying down, I know that I can have some peace for me.
9. Introduce 30 minute quiet time. This kind of meets with the last bullet. This works for older kids, too. If they need to reach a reading goal, this is a good time for them to do so while you rest.
10. Close the door. Yes! Sometimes, it is okay to close the door. I wouldn't have had a quiet bath last night if I didn't. Put a stick note on the door to your room. Make this a symbol meaning "Leave Mommy Alone." Use it when dad is around to help with the little ones if you are not comfortable with just closing the door.
11. Schedule your time. Make a point to schedule, once a week, some alone time. Some time to go to the grocery store alone. Some time to go to the library and pick up that book you had your eye on, and sit there and read some of it. Whatever you choose to do with that time. That is YOUR time for you. No one screaming like Stewie. Turn off your phone if you want because this is your time. 

 I hope this is helpful to all of you. I do find it hard to get that time. Or, when I have that time I find that I don't know what to do with it. Don't let that stop you though. Take your time, use it how you choose.

Please comment how you use your time. Let's give each other some ideas. I would like to hear from you!

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