This week alone, I have asked them to clean their rooms a handful of times. For some strange reason, they feel the need to drag out EVERY toy they own. Their rooms look like tornados have made their way through. Yes, I said tornados, not tornado. It gets that bad in one day.
I did realize something though. How could I expect my kids to do something that I don't? Cleaning is my worst enemy. I could never figure out the purging either. I am slowly figuring it out now. Long time coming. You need to remember that YOU are the example for your family, not just your kids. Once they noticed that I was trying to finally get my house in complete order, they wanted to help. They helped fold the clothes, load the dishwasher, load the washing machine, put their toys away from the living room, and clean off the table.
What I realized during this whole thing was why they were not cleaning their rooms. The one thing I kept asking them to do. I never really asked them to help with the other chores. Can you guess what I noticed?
If your guess was that I was helping them, telling them, and showing them how and what to clean these areas, YOU GOT IT.
You see, their little minds are still developing. They are sponges that soak up everything. If you show them the first few times, they will figure it out for themselves. They need guidance.
After helping my 3-year-old in her room, she now goes to clean it at least three times a day. I check it out when she is done. Everything is in the correct place.
Now, this was not overnight. We have helped them for the last few years with this.
I want to go through some tools I have started using to get my house in order. These have helped ALL of us dramatically.
I made them a guided cleaning chart.
On this chart, I created 8 boxes. I, then, put the item for them to clean up in words and added a picture for the little ones. So, for dolls and stuffed animals, I found a clip art of a doll and a teddy bear. For books and papers, I put a clip art of a stack of books and one of a sheet of paper. For clothes, I found clip art of a dress, shoes, and pants. You get the idea, right? Simple things that they could recognize and relate to the other items in their room. I created this by making a list of toys that they had and then put like items together on the chart. That way it didn't look like it was a whole bunch of things.
I created a cleaning schedule for me.
Who actually likes cleaning? Especially picking up all day after the kids? It gets exhausting. I get so overwhelmed by messes that I mentally and physically shut down. I can't register what to do first, next, or even last. Are you with me? I, now, have a daily schedule that gives me an idea of what to clean that day along with my daily chores (chores to do every day). I have stuck to this like glue. Not only am I happier that my house is becoming organized and clean, my family is too. I have more time to relax in the evening and more energy because I am not depressed about it anymore.
We all need schedules to help us stay on task and literally stay sane! I always felt that we never needed them when we grow up as much as we did when we were kids. But I feel like I need one now more than ever before. Especially when I am running a house of 5!
I created a reward chart for my kids.
We are still learning how to do this. My 7-year-old NEVER wants to clean her room. She will help with everything else (laundry, loading the dishwasher, wiping down the table, etc.), but she will never clean her room. My mother can't hardly get her to do it. We call her "Grammy's shadow," she literally does everything her Grammy does.
This week she saw a Lego Friends commercial and told me she really wants these legos!
My response, "How can you have legos and not lose them in that mess of a room?" She has lost a lot of her Mixie Q's, tiny like legos, in her mess. We made a Reward chart for this. If she can clean her room every time she is told, at 10 stickers she can earn her Lego Friends.
Some people disagree with the reward charts. For me, it is a visual representation of a goal and it's easy to keep up with and remember. They can visually see how they are doing.
We created a behavior chart.
On this chart, we have tasks.
We gather around the area to review our day and add our stickers. This is part of our bedtime routine. They love telling me how each one has done through the day, but I like for them to own up to their own behaviors instead of relying on one to watch the other. This helps guide them to exercise Self-Discipline.
1. Pick Up My Toys
We have a 10-15 minute clean up time at the end of the day before our bedtime routine. This is when I watch them for the first sticker. Although, we practice clean up all day before we change activities.2. Be Honest
These girls like to get into things they shouldn't. My two year old mainly. Then she likes to say someone else did it. We don't like to use the word lie, it sounds accusing and you're already setting them up to fail. When we use this word, we might say "Why are you lying?" or we sound harsh at it rolls off the tongue. Instead, we might ask " Are you telling a story? Are you telling the truth? Remember, you get a sticker for being honest and telling me what actually happened." They know that most stories are made up/pretend (i.e. mermaids, dragons, etc.).3. Be Kind
My children, possibly yours too, fight all the time. This is where we look for being kind to each other. If they get along or help one another with something over 75% of the time, we watch for that to tell us whether they deserve that sticker.4. Listen and Obey with a Smile
Do your kids throw fits when you tell them to clean up their toys or put their dirty clothes in the hamper? Mine ALWAYS do. Now, I don't expect them to smile while doing these tasks, but I do expect them to not fight and argue or groan and moan about it. We all have things we don't like to do or that we really don't want to do, but we have to. I don't like to clean, but I like a clean house and to be organized. If they listened to me and obeyed me they get a sticker. If they went to do the task I asked but avoided it when I went to check, no sticker.5. Share
I have all girls. They all like the same things, AT THE SAME TIME. Sharing is a chore. If they played well together and shared their toys with each other, you guessed it, Sticker.6. Keep your Hands and Feet to Yourself
When they don't share, they fight. If they have hit each other even once, they did not earn this sticker. We are learning other ways to deal with our anger. When my oldest was in PRE-K two years ago, her teacher taught the student how to use their BIG voice. Let me explain. When someone pokes you or takes your toy away without asking, or does something that you don't like, tell them how you feel about it. "I don't like when you steal my stuff." " I don't want to play with you right now, I need some time to my self for a minute." This is your BIG voice. Then, if they don't listen, they have my permission to come tell me and I will better handle it. No one gets kicked, hit, or bitten. Because my older one was using it with my 3-year-old, then 1-year-old, when she started talking she used it, too.We are already on Day 4 of this chart and my 2-year-old, my most hard-headed, actually earned more than the other two last night. She still has a ways to go, but it is showing some positive effects.
I made a family schedule.
On the first day of using it, I had everything going smooth. During the toddlers' free play time (30 mins), I actually did three chores. New House Record. LOL. I folded three loads of laundry and started a new one, loaded the dishwasher and cleaned counters and stove area, and cleaned bathrooms. Thoroughly, I might add.
How has it affected my toddlers? They watched and sung songs, ate breakfast at the table (with me), went and played upstairs in their rooms, came and helped with lunch, sat at the table with me and ate it (my two-year-old never sits still or at the table when told, my three-year-old hardly eats at this time), then laid down for nap on time. All without a fuss at any time about doing anything they were asked.
Like I said before, we all need schedules. We have become slaves to time. But at some point, we quit looking at the time and it becomes internal. We feel when things need to be done. Have you ever done that? Not looked at the clock for hours on end and went through your day feeling the transitions. Then looked at the time and realized you were right on cue. It's liberating. I get a sense of pride from it. Don't you?
Now, if you are like I was a few weeks ago and have no clue what chores your child can help you with and take off your hands, I have got just the thing.
I scoured the internet and found several different sites that listed different ages and what chores are appropriate for children of these ages. I have also learned these through trial and error with my own kids.
Don't forget, they still need some guidance and someone to look over their shoulder the first few times to get it right. Be patient with them, show them how you like it done so they can remember for the next time. One day, they will be ready to do it all on their own.
Now, as promised, here is a list I have compiled and categorized by age group for you to use and integrate into your home.
